for tom
posted on 04-20-2019 by scotty
I read the following at the funeral of my dear friend, tom schoderbek, on april 20th, 2019. tom lost his battle with bipolar 2 on april 2nd, 2019 in boulder, colorado.
What do you say when you lose a best friend?
I’ve been asking myself that for three weeks now.
I don’t think Tom would say much.
If you knew him, you know he was a man of few words
But words aren’t everything.
Memories-- glimpses and snatches of rose-colored days of the past have rushed through my head as I’ve process tried to process it all.
Music he made me love
Miles we ran together
Moments I will cherish forever.
He was one of a kind
And I wish I had more time to learn from him.
None of the memories numb the sting of losing Tom, but they help me recognize the impact he has on who I am. I looked up to him from the first time we met. He was faster and smarter than me, that much was obvious. But even though he was shy, I could tell he was fearless. Tom treated every day like an opportunity to be great, and he stretched my belief in my own capacity for success. With his help, we led the boys who would become our brothers to victory in race after race, collapsing in complete satisfied exhaustion at every finish line. And when we changed out of our running shoes, I was by his side constantly, struggling to keep up when he mastered physics before me, lagging behind as he tried to teach me to ski, and following gleefully on adventures into the forested mountains of our home.
And then we said so-long.
College separated us from the day-to-day camaraderie, but when we got back together it was like nothing had changed. He was the same old Tom, always taking me to school.
Smart beyond belief
Kind without fail
A quiet leader
The kind of man I dream of being.
What do you say when you lose a best friend?
That you love him
That you miss him
That you will never forget him
Or the impact he has on who you are.
(from left) tom schoderbek, jett ballantyne, and scotty kinkade after competing in nike cross nationals at glendover golf course, december 3, 2016